My Problem: Personal Story

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I don’t talk much about our child who has special needs because it somehow feels like a betrayal or me telling a story that only he should tell. But, last night was a doozy for us and it was a doozy for all of us. His special needs is a story for all of us to tell. I woke up this morning, exhausted and frankly, feeling sorry for myself and this “burden” we carry. And the endless tape keeps running through my head, “What can I do to change him? What am I doing wrong? What is the one missing piece that I need to “fix” him?” Over and over and over because I see him and his needs as a problem to be fixed. I am ashamed that I think that way. Because if I really think about it, I love this boy wholly and completely. He is not a problem. In fact, most of the time I am the problem because my frustration and anger always react first. Compassion rarely exists right at the surface so that it can be automatic. But I am working on it. Oh yes I am.

I love this devotion from Jesus Calling :

Make Friends with
The Problems In Your Life

Though many things feel random and wrong, remember that I am sovereign over everything. I can fit everything into a pattern for good, but only to the extent that you trust Me.

Every problem can teach you something, transforming you little by little into the masterpiece I created you to be.

The very same problem can become a stumbling block over which you fall, if you react with distrust and defiance. The choice is up to you, and you will have to choose many times each day whether to trust Me or defy Me.

Thankful,
Erin

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3 thoughts on “My Problem: Personal Story

  1. Kim says:

    Thank you for sharing this, Erin. I hope it brings some comfort to you when I say I think the author of Jesus Calling is in error on one key point here: she says Jesus “can fit everything into a pattern for good, but only to the extent that you trust” [Him]. But that is not what the Bible says. Romans 8:28 says He DOES work all things for good, not IF we trust Him but FOR all who love Him and are called and known by Him. It’s WHO we are – His children – not HOW we are – how much we trust. It is not earned. If you are His – whether faulty and humbled and failing and weak, or strong and victorious – He has promised to work all things together for good. His grace is not limited by our weakness, but rather made manifest just at that point. WE are His Special Needs Children! and He WILL work things according to His will, “for our good.” Her and your question remains, will we fight Him on it? or trust Him in it? But that’s a different question. Just my 2 cents. Oh, He knows I need that comfort every day. I could never trust Him enough to earn His promises to us!

    His help, His grace, His promises? They’re for sinners.
    Love,
    Kim

    • bericherson says:

      Kim, I hear what you are saying and I totally agree. I read it to mean that only when we fully trust can we actually SEE the pattern of good. God does whatever He wants whether we trust Him or not. But, I find that I hinder my ability to truly see all of His goodness around me because of my lack of trust and faith and only being able to see the “problem.” Praise Him for His grace and goodness! Thanks for your comment!!

  2. JM says:

    Oh Erin… I stand with you in the quest for accepting (and embracing!) our personal reality– especially those in our family.. thanks for being honest.

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